I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
