I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
