man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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