At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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