Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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