i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Randomize
