i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
