checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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