went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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