Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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