i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
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