My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Randomize
