my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
Randomize
