There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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