She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
