Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
We're too hungover to prance.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Randomize
