what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
