I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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