Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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