I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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