I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
