I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up under a house in Key West
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