Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
