i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
