So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
Randomize
