He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
