Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
