Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
