I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Randomize
