the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
