So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
She's the barista slut.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
