Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
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