$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
