I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
