is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize