I just threw up on my dentist
i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
The convent might be a nice break from real life
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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