If that was your dad, he is hot
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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