The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
