I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
