Well douche your snatch and let's go!
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
