Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
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