i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
