I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
