I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
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