capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Randomize
