Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
