I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
