My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize
