Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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