how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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