just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
